Saturday, February 20, 2010

My name is Khan review

Well, when Karan Johar , King Khan and Queen Kajol come together, where else can you be but inside the theatre? And there I was , my memories filled with flashes of Kuch Kuch Hota Hain, Kabhi Alvidha na kehna and the likes. A royal treat its gonna be , I kept telling myself. And " My name is Khan" started. ( Be careful not to miss the "h" in the Khan, lest Riyaz Khan, the hero, might get angry). And talking about Riyaz, well , if you wanted a glimpse of the naughty Khan of Kuch Kuch or the effortless Khan of Main hoon na, , simply forget it. This Khan is autistic. If you had been mesmerized by the romantic looks that Khan gave Kajol in Dilwale or the feelings which those eyes conveyed at Kajol in Kuch Kuch, then I pity you. This autistic Khan can't even look at Kajol. But then, as fate would have it, here we are, with an autistic Khan and a divorced mother of a son, Kajol, indulging in romance. A romance of a different kind. OK, you forget kuch kuch, you forget Karan Johar and try to reconcile into a serious movie ( quite reluctantly....). And what do we have?
We have this autistic Khan being brought up by an adoring mother who teaches him about good men and bad men. There’s a master who teaches him physics. And there’s an younger brother who gets into a sibling fight and flies to America. And mother dies. And Khan informs us that mother got a promise from him that he would go to US and lead a happy life. And we have Riyaz flying to US. And then he sells women’s cosmetics in San Francisco. No , dont laugh. This really happens. An autistic Khan suddenly flies to US and sells women’s cosmetics. So much for realism.
And he meets Kajol. Loves her. But then , one thing you will have to give it to Kajol. She hasn’t lost her magical touch one bit. And she tries desperately to fill life into a role, which defies logic. She is a mother of a boy. She is divorced. And then comes the autistic Khan who keeps asking her to marry her. And she does when Khan shows her a place in San Francisco that she has never seen. Again, believe me, that was the condition Kajol lays down for the marriage. Thank God, Karan Johar isn’t God, otherwise, only tourist guides can marry. And then Khan and Mandira (Kajol) marry and Mandira , a Hindu becomes Mandira Khan and her son takes the surname Khan. And 9 / 11 happens and hatred for Muslims starts. And soon we find that the little boy is murdered in a fight at school as he is a Khan.
And then comes the shocker. Kajol cries for her son and says, Khan is responsible for his death and asks him to leave her. And then as Khan leaves, he asks her, when do I come back. She says you come back after meeting the President and telling him you are not a terrorist and Khan sets out to do it. Hey, where are you running? This is the plot and I am not lying. The extra ordinary journey that they advertise is this journey that Khan takes to meet the US President. And after stifled yawns at Khan wandering places and blatant irritation at Khan fighting a storm , we finally have Riyaz Khan meeting the President and telling him he is not a terrorist. We feel like screaming, you are not a terrorist and we are not fools either! Finally, it all gets over and you walk out in silence trying to comprehend whatever happened to the magic of the three Ks , Kajol, Karan and King Khan of yester years. But then, those were yester years………. And before I forget, the music is good. Camera is excellent. But the movie is bad, my dear!

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